pictures 2007 
Dear friends,
I feel a bit guilty in sending you this letter so late in the year. Last year we did not even give you an update about the year 2006! So much has happened in my private life and ministry, that I felt too occupied to sit down and write.
Let me give you now a short update about the last two years.
In the year 2006 it took a lot of energy to mourn. I did not manage for instance to enter Betsy’s room and sort out which things could be given away/thrown away and which things I wanted to keep as a memory. Betsy’s sisters and my daughters have helped me to do away her wardrobe. I felt so sad, seeing all the beautiful dresses and coats and remembering the occasions she bought and wore them... We also collected from her room more than forty boxes with pieces of cloth, for she was a collector and a fervent quilter.
In the year 2006 I was comforted by the love and attention of many. I was invited to share dinner with several people, received phone-calls and letters. I’m very thankful for the support of my children and grandchildren, despite their own grieve they did not forget me.
During this year I felt supported too by the sympathy and love of Neeltje Rauwerda. I could not have imagined that - in the midst of grief - I could experience feelings of hope and love. When we met she lived in Rotterdam, where she teaches music at two primary schools (ages 4 to 12). She plays the violin in the ‘Tollens ensemble’ and is the mother of four (two boys, two daughters) children who are all on their own. We were engaged at the 24 of May 2006 and hope to get married May 17, 2008.
Anna Vlaming-Harmsen (Rob’s mother)
During the year 2006 we managed to organize help for my mother, who was still living on her own. For a long time she resisted ‘strangers’ in her house, but she realised that her deteriorating memory forced her to accept daily assistance. The 10th of January 2007 we celebrated her 83rd birthday, with
children, grand- en great-grandchildren. Together with Anna and Neeltje we visited the ‘Keukenhof’ (flower exhibition with the famous tulip-bulbs in beautiful colours). Although she was weak and needed a wheelchair, she enjoyed the trip very much. In the weeks to follow her condition grew very weak and the thirty first of August she died in her sleep. In the Eltheto-congregation, where Rob was ordained in 1978, and where she played a very active role (sexton, pastoral visitor, host at coffee-mornings, etc) I had the privilege to minister in the memorial service. After that she was buried near Betsy in Amsterdam.
The children
Martyria and Jan Pieter
The 1st of April 2006 Jan Pieter’s father died. For Amy and Calvin it was very emotional to loose two grandparents within a year. I was asked to minister in the funeral and is was so emotional to see my children and grandchildren grieve again. In 2006 Amy left primary school and went to secondary school. She became 14 in 2007 and is becoming a young lady with a very special taste of fashion. Calvin, (10 yrs)is in the 7* grade ofprimary school and learning to play keyboard and piano. A musician in the family at last? Jan Pieter is, as always, active in church youth work. Martyria joined the delegation of the Dutch Order of St. Luke to the world conference in Britain in June 2007.
Stephen and Bianca - Amsterdam
In the year 2006 they moved from a rented house to a house of their own. A lot of work has to be done here. Stephen inherited the skills
of his mother, so you don't recognize the 'new' house, that was very
much in need of repair, any longer. In 2007 he put much work into the garden. After seven years Stephen left his old job and in
February 2008 achieved a new position in an I.T. firm. After much efforts in 2006 and part-time work Bianca found a full time job in a nursery in 2007.
Iris (12 yrs) went to secondary school and she is a very intelligent pupil. Amber achieved two certificates for swimming in 2006 and in 2007 she went to grade 7 of primary school (she is 10 yrs of age). Eva (8 yrs) achieved two swimming certificates too during 2007. She likes swimming very much. Pepijn (7 yrs) is a very cute and busy child and in 2007 he went to a school with an adjusted teaching program. He likes it very much there and is doing very well there.
Lisa and Richard - Landsmeer
In 2006 Lisa started looking for another job, which she found in 2007. She is working now with autistic youngsters. Work she experiences demanding and rewarding at the same time. Richard found a new job - in I.T. - too in the year 2007. Reno (7 yrs) likes to read and is playing soccer. In 2007 a problem developed with his elbow, healing can take some time. Jonna fell from a slide and broke her leg. She was in hospital for several weeks and at home she had a special bed with weights that pulled her leg up and stayed in that position for 6 weeks. You can understand how difficult this was for a four year old girl (and her parents who had to skip the family holidays too). After some training she has learned to walk again and is happy as before.
Maarten en Manrieke, Amsterdam
In 2006 they moved after a long search to a new apartment in Amsterdam. There’s a room for Norah and space for Elise (10 yrs) who comes every other week-end to stay with them. At Norah’s first birthday (Nov. 13 2006) grandma Anna was present. During 2007 Marieke found a new job in a restaurant where she doesn’t have to work during the week-ends. Maarten and Marieke assisted Neeltje and me in tiding up our new house in Delft (August 2007).
Anna, Amsterdam
Her job came at risk in the end of 2007 (government cuts, mergers in the field of healthcare). It still is an insecure period for her. She has been of a tremendous help for my mother in the years since Betsy died and was with her during the last days of her life. Anna also helped us to wallpaper our house in Delft.
Rob
A new relationship: Meeting Neeltje in 2006 literally meant spring for me midst wintertime. In October 2006 we travelled through the United States of America and after returning we started looking for a place to live together. In 2007 we bought a beautiful old house in the heart of historic Delft, but until now we have not yet succeeded in selling our houses in Rotterdam and the Hague. We moved in August 2007 and had plans to marry in the month of October. Then my mother died and as the eldest son (I have three younger sisters) I had to do a lot of things. All the belongings of my mother had to be divided etc. and the rented apartment had to be emptied. So we postponed the marriage to May 17, 2008.
Bethelchurch, the Hague: From the first January 2006 funerals and the pastorate connected to it become part of my task again. This was - and is - often very confronting. The Tea-garden, where people from the neighbourhood are welcome during summer really is a place where good contacts are made. I designed a place of remembrance in our church for members who have died in the past year. A white pebble, with the name , is placed there. In November, after a special service, the family of the deceased can take the pebble home. I also put some energy during 2006 in the plans to redesign and rebuild the kitchen, so that is can serve better for the Open Meals we organize.
In October 2006 a church in a poor area of the Hague asked me to become their pastor. After much hesitation and prayer I accepted the call and was inducted in the ‘Laakkapel’ in March 2007. It is an area with many immigrants and people of other faiths. I’m also part-time (70 %) there and part of my assignment is to build bridges to the community in the area where we worship. Bethel offered me a heartwarming farewell service.
Laakkapel
My new church, where we were received with great expectations. Neeltje felt immediately at home there. In September 2007 I received assistance, for three days a week a pastoral-missionary worker - Elziena Oosterhuis (she has experience in the London City Mission) was assigned to our church. Together we hope to find a way to translate the gospel into practical and creative ways to serve our neighbourhood.
From February 2007 until December 31 I worked two days a week in Voorburg (bordering to the Hague) as a pastoral-visitor. It was an interim ministry, to assist a congregation where the local pastor was ill for more than a year.
My present congregation has its church building in an area (Laakkwartier) that was built in the 1930ties. In this area you find the ‘Vadercentrum Adam’ (Father-centre Adam), founded by the church. It’s a place where Immigrant fathers are assisted to integrate into Dutch society. All kind of courses are offered (Personal computer, sewing, carpentry, welding, language courses). There is a restaurant, run by the fathers, where you can enjoy a cheap meal. A shop with good, second hand clothes and a theatre group with members of all nationalities. There is a professional manager, co-workers from the churches, but the main responsibility for the day to day activities is lies with the fathers themselves. Another area is Spoorwijk, built between 1915-1921. This had become an area with poverty, the influx of immigrants and bad housing conditions. But in the last decade houses have been renovated or replaced by new blocks. In this area you find people of Turkish descend and people from Surinam belonging to the Hindu religion.
The Laakkapel is part of the ‘Protestant Church in the Netherlands’, a merger (2004) of the Dutch Reformed, the Reformed and the Evangelical Lutheran Church. These churches had three buildings in the area in the past, now Laakkapel is the only building left. There’s a university (Haagse Hogeschool) at the border of our parish and in recent years several (ex)students have joined our aging congregation. New activities have been started. Alongside the already existing ‘Open Meal’ for people from the neighbourhood, a ‘Twenty Something’ group has been formed and they invite - with growing results - young people from the University. We host in our churchbuilding the Victory International Church and together with pastor Kunle Oyesanya we seek ways to minister to our area.
Order of St Luke the Physician
In June 2006 we had a conference in Helvoirt with the theme: Free from fear. In October Neeltje and I travelled to the USA, where we stayed with Lee en Patricia McVay near Charleston. Together we spent a week at Hilton Head, where we enjoyed sea, sun and friendship and where I was invited to give lectures in local churches. Then we travelled to Lake Janaluska in North Carolina, where I was the keynote speaker at an annual conference (Region III) of the Order of St Luke. How much did we enjoy the hospitality and the atmosphere of Christian sister- and brotherhood! After the conference we flew to Hartford Connecticut, where we met our Casa Materna friends Fred and Edi Dole. Due to Fred’s health this could only be a short visit. We hired a car and drove via Historic Deerfield to Boston. There we stayed with a niece of Neeltje. Then further south to Mystic Seaport and New York and we felt very much at home in the Lutheran Seafarers home in Manhattan. We enjoyed a piano-concert in Carnegie Hall.
In 2007 the Dutch members were invited to come to the world conference in Britain, Derbyshire, 5-8 June. I was asked to give a workshop there about the ‘Mystery of suffering’ (one of the themes I presented in the USA). You can find the text on the website of the Dutch OSL. (www.lucasorde.nl). There’s a picture too I made of all the participants. It was good to meet members I met in Washington (10 yrs ago) and Australia (five yrs ago). Some had lost their partner too and it warmed my heart to hear that some did remember Betsy very well.
Publicity
January 2008 I laid down - after three years - the function of general editor of the church-magazine ‘Kerk in den Haag’ (an ecumenical monthly magazine with religious and cultural news for the Hague and surroundings). I am still active as editor of Soteria, an evangelical theological quarterly, I like the discussions with fellow editors about theological issues. For the Roman Catholic magazine Kerugma I wrote a sermon outline about Marc. 9,2-10 (the transfiguration of Jesus).
Teaching
During the year 2006 I lectured for the theology course for laypeople in the Hague about ‘Church in society’ and ‘Systematic theology’. In 2007 I lectured also in Utrecht (Church in Society) and the Hague.
Personal
I have gone through years of emotional roller-coaster. New contacts and responsibilities and losing dear friends and family.
From 5 to January 8 2006 I visited Derryck and Marion Evans in Swindon, for I needed to see them and collect mutual memories to Betsy.
I was deeply touched by the death of my fellow-pastor Jan van Vliet, who died much too young. He was a humble and joyful charismatic and during his illness he was a witness to Gods grace and healing power. His funeral service on April 28, 2006 was a testimony of wholeness despite grief. June 21, 2006 I was at the funeral of the last sister of my father, my aunt Klaasje Brouwer. During the last years of her life I visited her regularly.
May 10 2006 I was asked to minister in the funeral service of an old lady-friend in Utrecht, Gé Wisman. She was especially very dear to Betsy.
June 10 2006 our good friends Dirk and Audrey Zwijnenburg visited me and Audrey handed me the bed-quilt Betsy had left unfinished. Audrey worked for months and seeing it like Betsy had planned it, moved me very much. What would life be without friends!
June 16 - 22 I visited with Neeltje the world famous Orlando (music) Festival in Kerkrade. Neeltje followed workshop with a music ensemble and I was a listener at different workshops. Each night there were concerts in the theatre of Kerkrade.
In 2006 and 2007 I visited Betsy’s grave on her birthday (December 12) with children and grandchildren.
August 27, 2006 I had the privilege to induct Teun Verduyn as the minister of the Protestant church in Middelharnis. When he prepared for ministry, Teun assisted me for some months in the Utrecht congregation. It was only March 2005 that Betsy and I were guests at Teun’s and his wife Corrie’s 25th marriage anniversary.
In January 2007 I stayed for a long week-end in Fort Moville, France, where Neeltje’s brother lives. May 10 and 12, 2007 were the days that Aagje (Neeltje’s daughter) and Arthur married and had a party in Nijmegen. Days where I can meet the family-members of Neeltje and rejoice with them.
May 19, 2007 we had a beach-party in Kijkduin where we celebrated my 60th birthday. It was a reunion of friends and family, sometimes dating back 40 years. I received a special wish from every grandchild, attached to a flower. Great!
August 15, 2007 was the day I left the Hague and moved to Delft. Putting two households together means that you must put away many things. My washer went to a student who was beginning to live on her own, she was glad too with cutlery, dishes etc. My chairs and lounge suite and cupboards went to the children. The cats, Rosaria and Derryck accompanied me to Delft of course, some week later followed by Neeltje’s dog Lucy. They live together now like cat and dog... It took us several months to get the library/music-room in order and to unpack more than 5000 books.
Very moving was the funeral service in Eindhoven on the 11th of December 2007, where we remembered Jurrie Tulp. He was the husband of Betsy’s youngest sister and died after a long battle against cancer.
Neeltje Rauwerda
In January Rob and I found a house in the historic city of Delft. We can use public transport to travel to our jobs from there. Heleen (my sister) ,Ottolien (friend) helped me to pack and unpack tens and tens of boxes. Space is to limited to mention every helping hand. Chapeau!
The house is ‘inducted’ with a St. Nicolas and Christmas celebration and a double concerto of Bach (with Irina, my friend). After thirty years I left Rotterdam-Overschie. What I keep are dear memories and fine neighbours (at cycling distance!).
I work in two different public schools in Overschie and still like it everyday! One school is ‘white’, the other ‘black’, but all the children like singing and making music. They also did it when Rob was St. Nicolas there in December. Every week I play the violin in the Tollens Ensemble in Rijswijk and I’m the secretary of the Ensemble. We gave three concerts last year in Rijswijk and Rotterdam and made a small trip to the Czech Republic. In October I went to London to Charlotte’s (friend) birthday, to play for her together with her English friends. No Orlando Festival this summer, we needed the time to move to Delft.
Rob’s mother died in August and it’s a pity I knew her only for such a short time. Despite her frail condition her character was undamaged: a plucky lady.
In September my aunt Kelp van Haaften died, my mother’s sister and the last one of the Strumphler family from Hengelo.
For my children 2007 was a memorable year
Jan en Charlotte (Rotterdam) In February their baby died just before birth. The four grandparents-of-a-day buried her (it was a girl) in Buitenveldert.
Life looks better now. Charlotte resumed her job at the travel-agency. Jan finished his job at his fathers firm successfully. He is preparing for a new future and rounding off his studies law and sheriff’s officer.
Willem en Debbie (Leiden) no longer live together. Debbie resumed - after a vacation in Brazil - her work as child physiotherapist. Willem moved within Leiden and tries to finish his dissertation as soon as possible, while working in biopharmacy at the Leiden University. He hopes he can have the graduation ceremony in 2008. Alongside he teaches with much pleasure - together with Debbie - Latin American dances in a dancing-school in Leiden.
Aagje en Arthur (Nijmegen) are married in May in Overschie. They did not exchange rings, but cycling wheels and invited their guests for a cycling tour near Nijmegen two days later. The honeymoon trip was on bike too of course, they biked through California this time.
In June Arthur left for Afghanistan. He stayed for four months on an airport (he knows everything about aircraft technics.. Alas, not much opportunity for him to bike there. Sand enough however...
Aagje works at the university and teaches economics and is preparing a dissertation. She likes to run, I saw her finishing this summer in De Lier (near Delft)!
Doortje (Rotterdam) studied in Munich and after she returned she started her medical terms of probation. In the meantime she rebuilt her new apartment in Kralingen (Rotterdam) and she became a ‘movie-star’ in the reality-soap of SBS 6 Erasmus Medisch Centrum. When she changes her rasta-hair in due time, she won’t be recognized any longer in the supermarket. Several days a week she works at a general practitioner’s post and she finishes her dissertation, which she hopes do defend the 23rd of April this year. Her medical graduation will be on the the 18th of July.
We wish you all every blessing and the Lord’s sustaining grace. Of course you’re welcome in Delft, we have a guestroom available. And May 17 at noon, we ask God’s blessing on our marriage. Waalse Kerk, Prinsenhof, Delft.
Delft, March 10, 2008
Robert van Essen and Neeltje Rauwerda
E-mail: robvan.essen@hccnet.nl
My website: http://www.robertvanessen.nl
My blog: http://kijkbijrob.blogspot.com/
My pictures: http://opdekolk.spaces.live.com/